So it's 4 am and I can't sleep. I'm still out of job and keep getting letters saying no or just no letter at all.
I know if you keep hard onto something, it always come up to you. Well, not always, sometimes it just doesn't and the fact that I'm both transsexual and looking for a job doing shows with animals doesn't help. None of my potential employers know about it yet, I want to keep that for when my place is secured and see how it goes from there.
Technically, they are not allowed to refuse me because of it as it is illegally but the illegal part of it is not what worries me.
France has a weird policy of "do what I say, not what I do", recently it went to the European Counsil to vote against a law that forces transsexual to have a surgery before they can get a name/gender change on ID and then once back in France enforced that law here regardeless to what they claimed there.
So yes, I can't sleep because I'm worried.
Some may never get a job they want no more how hard they try. I know I shouldn't complain as I can do many kind of jobs instead of marine mammals such as horses, computers, truck driving or even arts, I even tried applying for a guide job for tourists.
And yet, despite that, I'm still looking.
So tonight, I daydreamed. I daydreamed about finding myself in court and having to explain myself about "cheating", cheating about my real name and gender, cheating for a job. Cheating because I have legally no right to be a woman until I get this surgery and yet, according to the law and mandatory shrinks I see, I must act as a woman without having the legal rights to do so.
And I'm here ranting and sitting on the side of my bed, hoping that one day, the world will change for the good of all.