delphinelicorne

Self-Awareness

Mon, 19 Oct 2009 14:22:18 GMT

During the last months (years?), I have totally forgot who and what I was. I have been going up and down mostly depressed and going from toy to toy to try to get some more happiness.
I forgot the steps I took for last 4-5 years to become the real me. To fully be a girl, I even went as far as forgetting my medication for an extended period of time. But recently I found myself again and realised that during all those years, I could have saved a penny here and there to reach the necessary funds I need for my surgery, this money I spent left and right thinking how such a small sum wasn't going to be needed. But I was wrong. I hope to be able to get this money for the incoming year 2010, I'll try my best to because that's what I always wanted and that's what my life and sanity depends on, it is not an easy goal but if I don't start now, I'll never reach it. I'm pondering selling my motorbike to get some money back although most of it will go to pay its loan first...
I'll hold onto that hope as long as I can, until I finally get the whole sum together, whatever the way to do it, penny by penny if I have to.

On other news

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 07:46:26 GMT

Well, I hope to have a camcorder for christmas but it will have to wait.

My laptop died just two days before my desktop said it had enough.
The mobo died, it doesnt even load the BIOS, and I don't have error codes as I should in those conditions. I managed to get a sata usb enclosure for the hdd and it works as external now.
So I decided to ask for a laptop for christmas instead of a camcorder.
Will see how things go.

New desktop

Sun, 27 Sep 2009 05:28:13 GMT

My old desktop started to die on me a few days ago: blue screen, hdd continuously working for no apparent reason and difficult boot, sometimes locked at the test screen.

At the same time, I got a commercial in the mail for the 50 years of a supermarket and in it an ad about a new desktop:

- CPU: Intel Core2Quad (2.33GHz) (yes, quad core!, although this one is the smallest they made and has low cache memory, it is still VERY fast)
- RAM: 8 GB of DDR3, 1066MHz
- 1000 GB HDD, 7200, Sata II
- new Nvidia GT 230, 1.5GB (officially unreleased)
- and a nice 23" 1080p screen.

All for 700.-

Yeah I know, if you check those specs, they are not the highest specs you can find but it was a bargain and it does pretty well, never saw photoshop opening in less than 5 seconds before :p

And I'm pretty happy with it, so that's enough ^^.

Welcome Oxo!

Sun, 30 Aug 2009 15:51:31 GMT

Today we went to a sort of meeting for dogs, you know with breeders and people selling stuff unrelated.
Well, we found a guy who had ferrets and so we got one!
here's Oxo: http://delphineuni.free.fr/DSC_0775.jpg
Evan has a new friend :).
Well at first he wasn't really happy, he reacted like we were about to toss him and prefer the new ferret, but got better after he had his good share of hugs and scritches.
Oxo is rather nice and doesn't really bite which is surprising for a 3 months ferret. Although he has no vaccine nor chip so tomorrow I'm going to call the vet for that and papers.
He is a stomach on feet, he hasn't slept a second but ate all he could find since he is here.
Somehow he is really talkative which Evan stopped being, my fault as he has been alone for such a long time. I was surprised by his noises at first since Evan only does those when hurt or in bad situation. Oxo seems to do those when happy. Will have to be careful.
For now Evan is the biggest one but in a few months, it will be challenging to tell which is which, Evan has white feet and white head with a pink nose while Oxo has black feet and darker head and a darker nose.
They have been together almost since we arrived and well, let's say Evan hasn't yet been able to sleep ;).
Fights are playful and there's no fear to have really but for a few days I'm going to keep them in separate cages when I'm not at home.

We also saw baby Siberian Huskys for 600€ each. Mom told me to decide which xmas gift I'll have :p.

Bday wish

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:21:51 GMT

Well, I've become addicted to rc helis.

Unfortunately this costs and costs again. The basic charger I got from Esky takes 6 hours to charge a single 3s 1800 mAh 20c LiPo. I wish I could get a Turnigy Accucell-6 and another battery but then it's another 100 bucks or so with adapters (yeah, T Deans are getting harder to find) and someone told me to get a voltage logger with alarm to avoid under-discharge during flight.
Anyway... It's my bday in a bit more than a month (8th of October) and this is what I'd love to be able to buy myself for it:

Those are Walkera Lama 2 and 4#3 helis. One is co-axial, the other is CP. They are micro helis. Good for training before getting a similar 6 channels or even for training for my normal size heli since those are small enough to be hard enough to train. And they'll keep me from being bored and depressed to see my heli sitting there and not being able to fly it.
The pack is 140 bucks (100€) but then I don't think I'll get the money for that so it will have to wait. As for those who tell me to ask my family they'll get me a "2 in 1" gift as it is expensive enough to be for both bday and xmas: http://tinyurl.com/maluny
So I need to find a way to get that money before end of september.
Oh well, I can wait.

Legs are shaking..

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 17:04:29 GMT

From the second day flying my rc helicopter.
Well, technically, it's the first day, since the last time I spent the whole battery time checking and trimming and had unsolved problems like the training kit I made got always caught in holes in the grass and such.
So today I took it out for the second time, trimmed a good way to the right and it hovered like a charm. My training kit was put to good use and I managed a flight as long as 90 seconds. Which could have been longer but I was so stressed, and worried about breaking something I thought it was good to end it, repositionned the heli in the middle then start again. You are never too safe. I managed a few soft landing as they all should be but the last one was a bit too sharp and I heard a soft 'bang'. Turned throttle off quickly then went to check the heli. The tail boom has a good mark on it and one of the blade has the plastic covering off of the wood. I tried to put some throttle to check the sanity of the blade (not full speed!) but the sound that came out of the plastic made me shut it off as soon. Decided to wait for advice or replacement before next flight. The wood of the blade itself is not even dented, although the plastic being off might make it good for trash.
All in all, I'm very happy on how I flew it, those simulator lessons were really helpful. The heli is reactive enough to act almost as soon as input the commands also, as soon as I wasn't sure of myself, like if it was getting too close from trees or else, I turned off the throttle at a reasonable distance and moved the heli by hand back to the middle. I hope to be soon able to do more than hover with it, it's really awesome!

Zoo

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 02:45:28 GMT

I went to the zoo today and here are the resulting pics:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/delphineuni/sets/72157621859998803/detail/

hope you enjoy ^^

Bleh

Sun, 26 Jul 2009 23:12:51 GMT

You know there's something seriously wrong about you when:

- you are invited to a friend's party, being thanked for all you did to help those guys, enjoy the party and be nicely greeted when leaving and then...
All you think about is every little mistake you COULD have done that would make others think bad of you...

Short Rant

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 17:46:58 GMT

What the fuck is wrong with people posting 2 MB thumbnails without a cut on lj communities?

Some people don't want to load your stuff man!

Happy Belated Anniversary

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:33:42 GMT

..To Naketa and Calafin:

http://www.furaffinity.net/view/2529211/

Hope you like it.
I'll have someone to get the picture printed as the last one.

It says "Good"

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:17:24 GMT

I've been waiting to receive my diploma since last week. As nothing happened, a friend decided to go on the minitel (the internet ancestor) to check out for me. I didn't know I'd be listed there as it is a GED stuff and not a big High School Diploma.
So he found my name and if I passed or failed.
So I passed!
And in France there are 'honours' given to students depending on their marks. Mine was "Good" (wikipedia ranks it as High Honour, the others being Fair 'enough to pass', Good Enough 'honours' and Very Good 'highest honours'); That correspond to a mark between 14 and 15.99 out of 20 (which is roughly equivalent to B in USA).
I have yet to know my exact mark.
I iz happy ^^

EDIT: I just found out the diploma I got is quite different from the US GED as the exams were exactly the same as HSD (math exam even included Integration), just less matters to pass. No offense to anyone having a GED.

Stolen from orcinus

Sat, 27 Jun 2009 21:44:14 GMT

Your result for The Mind Self Control Test...

Master

Master Mind!

Well what can I say! You probably don't need any advice about any of this. You are active in your own thought process. You are probably well focused. You are self conscious and take action consciously. You are aware of the nature of cause and effect (at least as this applies in a temporal environment... B). You know what your goals are. You don't allow your strengths to dominate your weaknesses. You cultivate balance and harmony in your thought process. You strive to maintain objectivity. You realize the difficulties involved in doing so. You understand that there are always different perspectives other than your own.

Take The Mind Self Control Test at HelloQuizzy

Yeah... so they say...

stolen from selth

Tue, 23 Jun 2009 21:12:05 GMT

$5175.00

Created by OnePlusYou - Free Dating Site

News

Sun, 31 May 2009 18:29:02 GMT

I haven't updated my LJ this last few days, so let's start with thursday:

After a correct sleep, i get a normal breakfast which I'll find too heavy for a day-long scuba diving. Will have to be careful with that next time. Fill up the car tank since I don't want to go in someone else's car, not that i don't want to but I don't have money to pay for the travel. On other hand I don't push others to pay me back when they ride with me.

The guy I drove to the diving place was really nice and we talked for a while, first time I meet a professional helicopter pilot.

Somehow we are late because we expected someone else to come with us and in fact, this person went there already, so we had to hurry to change of clothes and wear diving gears, they are cool but really tight around the ankles and wrists. There was much wind and the first diving site was abandonned because there was no way to stabilised the boat with the strong currents, so we go to another place. All is good but I start to feel seasick, I know it will pass as soon as I'm in the water. So we start diving, as usual I'm slightly underweighted, my fault, but not by much. Fortunately I'm not as stressed as a few dives ago when I used half my tank just to dive down to 20 meters. This time I used only 10 bars, which is just ten times less. I'm a lousy diver, I'm not fit and I spend a whole tank while others spend only half of it. I showed the director when I was half and when I was in the red. I knew I could have confidence in him but for no apparent reason I had a panic attack underwater. I wanted to remove the mask and the breather from my mouth, I wanted to throw everything and just dive up to the surface as fast as possible. My old teacher told me about it when i first started to dive, not sure if it's a common stuff though but I managed to control myself. I guess my will is strong enough, cause after we landed, and I told my director about it, he said there was nothing visible in my acts underwater that showed any problem. Although I thought it was good to tell them.

Anyway, we finally reach the surface after this first dive and my tank shows less than 20 bars. And we surfaced like 200 or 300 yards from the boat with opposite currents. At least, the waves helped some and I swam more with each wave to gain from them, it took quite a while to get to the boat, but it was good not to be alone, then we had to remove stuff while holding the boat with one hand, my weight belt turned and I didnt thought of turning it underwater, so my director helped me, I turned facing the water, with my arm twisted and holding the boat, fighting to stay still as he asked me to :p.

From now on, my strenght was limited to the minimum, but I still had to get back into the boat, thanks to my fellow co-divers, it went easily but I was feeling pretty bad, a mixture of seasickness, dizzy head from too much effort, empty stomach and reminiscent of fear from underwater, or rather trying to understand it. I laid down on the boat floor until we arrive, I was cold and shaky (not visibly so though), of course I covered myself but the wind didnt help. We ate and I told the boss, I won't go to the next dive, he said ok but my dive director talked me into it, since I started to feel better after a small sandwich.

The second was rather uneventful; there was no current there, my tank went down as fast as before but we saw lots of interesting animals, like lobsters, tiny sharks, crabs, spider crabs, lots of fishes and even a torpedo ray, first time I ever saw one live.

Then it was time to drive home, I drove the guy back to his car and he gave me 10 bucks for the ride (I don't ask for those but it's the second time and the first guy calculated that's what my car costed me for the ride, so heh.).

Had enough time to shower and even rest a bit in it. Tiredness started to fit in but managed to go to school, and spend the two hours of course without a problem, thanks to the talented teacher. (One of them is so boring, he'd put me asleep even if I was on high-level cafeine). She told me something I heard when I was in school twelve years ago and which is still true:
I have the knowledge, I have the brain but I lack the way to explain it on paper in a scientific way (developping an explanation with details down to the conclusion).

Then comes friday, not much happened then, I tried to ride my bike but everyone decided to go on weekend at the same time, I drove like 40 miles in 2h30. Ordered two pizza, a special IE8 (yes the shop makes a internet explorer 8 pizza!) and a nutella one. The IE8 is really good but the other one is just a pasta fold in two with the nutella in it, the pasta was already getting hard as I got it, havent touched it since, will see if I can get it softer.
Saturday: naught.

Sunday: that is today. I went for a long ride, everything went well, 2h30 of ride, my ass just couldnt handle more, so I stopped under the sun for half an hour, no one to bother me it was really cool and then rode again, for almost another hour. It could have been the perfect if not 500 yards before my house, at a traffic light, I encountered a problem:
My light turned green, so I start, I got my sign to turn left, which means everyone coming in front has the right of way, in front there are two separate lanes with one light each, one lane goes straight or left (from their pov), the other goes right, ie: my right.

No car on the first lane, but one at the second, I start slow, cross the street slowly waiting for the car to move since I'm not sure if her light has turned green or not, I still go slow waiting for it to go then decide she might be red and starts to accelerate
...And so she does...

I was relatively far (not 100 yards though) from her, I braked hard, my rear tire slid a bit (might have been on the crossing lines). And I yelled at her.

The old person on the wheel was just not realising her light was green and she realised it as I came to her. Nothing wrong happened but it still pisses me off that people are not concentrated on their driving. If anything had happened I'd have been responsible because she had the right of way..

Oh well, it's over now and it's time to rest a bit waiting for mick to connect.

Those dinos...

Tue, 26 May 2009 14:29:55 GMT

I always wondered...

Prices and money

Tue, 26 May 2009 12:59:55 GMT

The more it goes and the more I am careful at the prices when shopping, looking for promotions, checking if the prix per kg is really cheaper for a larger quantity or money going to the shop-card. I am even more careful as I am running low on money. I'll be happy to go back working this summer even if it's truck driving, it will bring good money (and allows myself to buy my nerdy N97 :p).
Although, I still try to buy food I like, I dont really want to eat shit because it's cheaper, ham is a good example, cheap ham is nothing but water and plastic-like pink stuff.
I got myself the last Lucky Luke comic, as I like to get myself a few things from time to time. It looks like in france, comics are considered as "collectors items" because they really arent cheap: 8€⁵⁰ for that one.
Got 1€⁰⁰ on my card today for 59€⁰⁰ spent.

On other note, good apple is good.

random thoughts

Mon, 25 May 2009 10:45:32 GMT

Packing for the last two weeks of school, then there will be another week off (called week of rehearsal) then the exams.

Mom said we are going to Tai-Shi together after school.

XL sweating t-shirt (special "breathing" fibers) is just a bit too large for me.

In two weeks, I'll drive the bike home: 110 miles or so. Not that I might but I just have too long legs to seat correctly on it, and a special forward foot rest (5" further than normal forward controls) is 600€ without installation, no longer seat exists.

I haven't drawn in a long time, two commissions are overdue, I shall repair that very soon.

I might try to record myself singing one day, SingStar is just a game but it gave me enough confidence and so did DJ PonyHard.

I wonder if I can get my ferret to travel with my to US with the correct papers and vaccines.

If I get good grades at the final exam, mom wants to offer me a big gift.

Live long and prosper \\//.

In search

Sun, 17 May 2009 06:28:22 GMT

..of a job.
Really want to work with horses but there's always a slight problem:
I need a riding level, a sort of sport diploma to show you get enough skills...
Each riding level is roughly a year of riding for a normal rider. And I'm required level 7. In other words it's the level that allows you to train for being a riding teacher. Until then no problem.
Two facts:
1: I've seen level 7 riders falling from a horse who avoided a jump, while I, with my pity level 2 at the time, I could stand still on said horse. I was even given level 5 horses at the time when their dedicaded riders didnt come. I even rode stallions in shows for years and international-class dressage horses. (a tiny lil 10 years in all). And yet I can't get a job because I don't have the official level. Which leads to our...
2nd fact: Horse riding is like any sports considered as a hobby for employment company, so I need to pay from my pocket to get official riding levels, that is a minimum of a day riding every week for 4 years since I have level 3 and I need level 7, although I might be able to get them a bit faster, I can't afford it right now and despite a new stuff now in place called "valorisation of experiences" which transforms your experience into a paper (duh!), there's nothing about 1: horses, 2: sports levels.

I visited someone lately who would have been more than happy to hire me, BUT:
1: For hiring me, he needs to get his whole farm "upgraded" to reflect the new laws about security and work-comfort (my ass! I've worked 10 years with horses and I never cared that a tractor had to have power steering). Which means hundreds of thousands of euro to get someone working with him.
2: the Veterinary State Services are on his back waiting for anything, they visited him lately, his horses are the most gentle I ever saw but this asshole from the services just was too afraid to go close to the horses alone to "chip" them so she wrote in her papers that she wasnt allowed to check the horses... So they are a bit pissed off, and hoping for him to make a mistake. If he ever hires illegally, which personally I don't care, the country isn't making things worth being hired*, and I ever have an accident they'll make him close his farm. And he doesn't need that.

*If I don't work I get money from the unemployement (right now a whooping great 1200€/month because I worked at 2500 for a long period); If I go to school, I don't get money anymore because "I'm not looking for a job anymore" (so I claim I'm doing evening classes, which is not a lie); If I work 1 day a month, as I had to do for my mutual insurance in November, I get 200€ less on my unemployment pay, unfortunately, I'm not paid 200€ a day at work, which means : unemployment + work = less than not working...
In 12 years, the unemployment called me twice for a job... while I was working... for apples...

Sun, 17 May 2009 06:09:20 GMT

8:03am Back from the bakery
8:04am Cleaning my coffee bowl
8:05am Making morning breakfast... damn already 8:07am gotta do all this now.

Seen in the news today

Sat, 16 May 2009 11:36:59 GMT

Obama changes his mind and Russia violently arrests and molests 20 homosexuals (who asked for the same rights as others) in front of molested journalist the day of the eurovision final (which occurs in Russia).

Movie night

Fri, 15 May 2009 18:47:25 GMT

That wasn't today, it was wednesday.
Last time I went to cinema was with Shetty, so that makes it maybe two years ago or so and as such I decided it was time to try and go to cinema even if alone.
Star Trek XI had me decided, not because I'm a trekkie but because I like movies with lots of special effects. So I looked online and found a pre-release movie "Là-Haut" (Up) in 3D.
I run to the cinema, or rather take the bus to it and arrives just in time for it, the cinema only uses electronic posts to get tickets, a rather unpersonal mean. On the screen it reads "ticket for Up in 3D with the opening ceremony of Cannes Festival live". 12€.
Ok then, let's go.
It was really nice to see live from Cannes, we were given special 3D glasses for the movie and that's when the fun started.
Up is the new Pixar movie (second Pixar movie to be PG rated), release date: May 29.
It is both funny and sad, like a real movie I'd say, although it keeps what makes animation picture interesting. It is bright and full of colors, it's really fun and 3D do add a lot to the movie. But also it made me think.
The story of a 80 years old guy who swore he'd go where his hero went when he was a kid and never fulfilled his vow ...until now. The comic sidekick being a little scout boy trying to get another medal by helping an old person and a dog with... something special ;).
I found the movie really cool and funny, a breath of fresh air in a not-so-easy life. And a proof that there's always hope even after 80 years of waiting.
The movie is PG rated for some peril and action (filmratings.com).
In the end, the movie was applauded.
I got out of the cinema thinking of watching another movie and decided for it, the pizzeria next to the cinema offered 20% off if you showed a movie ticket, so I got there, ate a goat cheese, honey and raw ham pizza (you can't understand what's good you american burgers!).
Ran out of the restaurant as I was 5 minutes late for the movie but in fact only the commercials were running so I had time to undress and sit correctly for Star Trek.
Totally different movie from the first one but also very interesting. Despite not being a Star Trek fan, I'm old enough to have seen the original series several times on tv. And I had a bit of apprehension about new actors for canon characters. But I was happy with the result. I guess I was more controversial with Kirk but it's more from the fact that he is always on screen and I have enough time to see the difference than the other actors who have less screen time. I must say my favorite was McCoy, there's no one like him and I knew it was him as soon as I heard his voice. The only point I would be splitted for is the plot. It's a modified space-time reality, not the original one and thus, is it really how it started?
All in all, the movie was really interested and the Enterprise is cool to look at when being built. I'm not sure the bridge looked like that in the original series though :p.
The movie ended 20 minutes after the last bus so I had to walk 45 minutes back home but it was worth it.

stolen from shadowtxhorse

Fri, 10 Apr 2009 00:48:11 GMT

Your result for The Kink Spectrum Analysis Test...

Blue (450 nm)

Wow! You have quite a big repertoire when it comes to kinky sex. And you're probably also willing to play on either side of the fence. You should look for another Blue, or an Ultraviolet if you want to broaden your horizon. Greens may be okay as well but will probably bore you after a while. Reds are too vanilla for you.

But I promised you a more detailed analysis, so here it is. Note that most scales are twofold: There are separate values for giving (active) and receiving (passive). If you scored high on one of them, you should look for a partner who scored high on the other. If you scored high on both of them, go for someone who is similar (or for multiple partners if you're into that). If you scored low on both, this probably is not your kind of kink.

You scored 92% giving and 54% receiving on oral.

You scored 67% giving and 100% receiving on anal.

You scored 31% giving and 86% receiving on bondage.

You scored 41% giving and 57% receiving on humiliation.

You scored 17% giving and 95% receiving on pain.

You scored 42% dominance and 60% submission.

You scored 54% voyeurism and 40% exhibitionism.

Besides that, you're 19% into fetishism and 84% polysexual (i.e. interested in sex with multiple partners, whether at the same time or not). You'll probably want a partner who is similar, whether you scored high or low in these categories.

Finally, you scored 35% on autoerotic - a scale that measures your ability and/or willingness to have kinky fun without a partner. It's not exactly a matching criterion, but it's good for you if your score is high. Keep it up!

Take The Kink Spectrum Analysis Test at HelloQuizzy

Oooooh kinky me ;>

How Open Minded Are You? (stolen from avon_deer)

Sun, 05 Apr 2009 20:09:06 GMT

You Are 80% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out!
Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand.
You don't have a judgmental bone in your body, and you're very accepting.
You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

On other news

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 18:09:03 GMT

The G20 decided to set a grey and a black list of the tax heavens...

Thank you Sarkozy and Obama, now I know where to go when I win the lottery.

We are not amused.

Tue, 31 Mar 2009 19:20:26 GMT

*Ranting mood*
As some of you know, I give courses to reta... students with problems in maths and so on. Last week, one guy asked me if I could come for him only as no one else wanted to meet before the exams. So I said yes to his request.
He called me yesterday asking if we could start earlier because he had to go at 4:30pm to pick his kids, he even wanted me to get there in the morning which I refused so we decided to meet at 1:30pm in class.
Today, he sent me an sms at noon claiming he'd be late which I replied by asking how late he would be.
No answer.
I decide then to take a bit more time and leave later imagining he'll be saying I'm half an hour late, in fact, I arrived by 1:45pm. Asked for a class key and then proceeded to do a few chemistry homework before he arrives.
2pm comes and goes.
Received a phone call at 2:45pm "is it still ok? when will you be there?", "well I'm already there." I say. "Ok, I'm coming."
3pm comes and goes.
He arrived somewhere between 3:30 and 3:45pm, time at which I was randomly looking online and playing windows games (yes, there are computers and internet in the class).
We started an exercise on ln (neperian logarithm) to which he seemed to understand nuts and his attention span was just close to ln (1).
Things then on went much faster as 20 minutes later he went out to smoke a cigarette, to which I followed, because I needed some time after all this wait.
He told me someone else is coming, and I though the other was coming for lessons too.
As soon as we are back in the class, the other shows up, they both leave the room and I'm alone again.
They show up half an hour later. We go on with an exercise, while other students for the chemistry evening course arrive. I don't remember the exact timeframe but we did only one exercise at that time before he vanished for the day...
And so the chemistry course started 45' later, with me pissed off.
As for the reason he arrived late, he said separation is hard, and why he didn't answer my sms, he said he couldn't...
It's the last time I ever help one guy.